Being a woman means so many different things on so many levels. Women are, often involuntarily, pigeonholed in a role of definition that others, even those who are in the unique position to understand, can’t quite grasp. Labels are ugly things.

To start with, still today, there are women who are subjected to domestic violence and abuse daily. They can see no way out, and believe that they will never escape their living nightmare, that no one can help them make a better life for themselves.

Instead of offering basic support and understanding, spectators always wonder why these victims don’t just leave their abusive relationships or marriages, and why aren’t they not able to just walk out, go to the police, ask for help and most importantly why do they even accept to live in these kind of conditions. Too often, women fail to understand other women.

[pull_quote_center]It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent  — Madeleine Albright[/pull_quote_center]

At the other end of the spectrum, there are those who are strong and powerful. They hold high leveled positions at work, they are educated, they have traveled and, through difficulties and hardships, managed to create a decent life for themselves. It is so very tempting and easy to call educated, well-to-do women snobs. It’s easy to conclude that these women had an easy life, their degrees were just handed over to them by the University, to think that their parents must have been rich and that life was straightforward for them. Again, women fail to understand each other.

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Some of us grew up in dysfunctional families, abusive and oppressive environments, having as role models parents who drunk, abused drugs, gambled, cheated on the other parent, hit us or emotionally and physically mistreated us. We also turned out to be dysfunctional adults, emotionally and psychological lacking basic guidance and acceptance. We chose partners that were also allowed to misuse us and although, we did and still do try to become better parents and people and get rid of the ones who hurt us, it is still a work in progress.

Others managed, against the odds, to break loose from this never ending circle of abuse and violence. They have rejected their childhoods corrupted ‘idols’. They have given their life a meaning and although their wounds feel raw, still, they are doing their best to smile every day and be grateful for everything they have.

Other women have had a happy and stable family life. Problems were still there but they had their family’s support and togetherness to see them through. They grew to be responsible and law-abiding adults who have been unlucky in love and still, in their thirties are still single. Perhaps, though, they have found the love of their lives and have created a lovely family home.

[pull_quote_center]A strong woman understands that the gifts such as logic, decisiveness, and strength are just as feminine as intuition and emotional connection. She values and uses all of her gifts. — Nancy Rathburn[/pull_quote_center]

Some of us are married. Some others are single. Some are divorced, in complicated relationships or they have been windowed young, engaged and in distant affairs. Our relationship statuses vary and change and so does our personal statuses. We are happy, angry, sad, miserable, abused and appreciated. Us, women, have endured all kinds of mistreatment from men, other women, family and friends, from our bosses our children and our neighbors. We have also been loved, felt proud, excited, cherished, respected, had our efforts recognized and our struggles acknowledged.

[quote_box_right]“How wrong is it for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself?” ― Anaïs Nin[/quote_box_right]

All the above people have something in common. They are all women. We have lived through a sea of emotions, a mixture of feelings and a plethora of good and bad situations. In the end, we made it through. Some of us better than others. Some of us easier than others. Women today are not as united as they should be.

Life’s struggles , financial difficulties, and internal mental and psychological disruptions, have turned us away from each other. Some times even against each other. Why do we really feel the need to ‘attack’ other women? Is it jealousy? Fear? Competition? Have we lost the true meaning of cooperativeness, mutual help and support? I believe that women can achieve everything! And together we can achieve even more.

Ladies, wives, moms…we are all beautiful, capable women. ‘Because woman is more than the sum of its parts. A woman is, first and foremost, always a lady. Being a woman is complicated, but we have each other.’
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Psychologist, world citizen, mother - Effie is one half of the alwaysladies.com founding pair. She can bring to life any party with either a smile, or a strong opinion. If like us you can't get enough of Effie, visit her blog at www.thethinkingmomblog.com

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